My Degree and My Pocket!!! (Short story)


See how wanna Certificate big but wanna pockets flat.

Hello people!!!! … how are we this New Year? I hope you chopped your Christmas with vim? How many New Year’s resolutions did you make? Oh don’t worry yourself cos I know you’ve already forgotten. By the way I bring you greetings from the overlord of the world, the kind man who gave us His only begotten son. I beg what we dey do for Easter?…. Abi you guys sin saaaa make them kill Jesus again? No worries! He go wake up after three days p3!                                                               

Chale I’ll try and write my first post in 2013 in pidgin. I’m telling you guys what happened to me last Saturday! Hmmmm… I swear life no be easy for here koraaa!!! Man taya too much! But I know sey ego bee k3k3 (I beg make you twist you mouth give me).

Before I go start, make I tell give you guys a preamble. I go School for Ghana Institute of Journalism. After 4 years of learning, them give me Degree in Communication Studies. Chale I make happy sey I get degree ooo… abi you guys too get some? or you dey try get some? If you no get, make you no worry just do what you dey do! I dey do national service for National Identification Authority (NIA). But I swear degree no be all ooo…

As I wake up on Saturday, then kobo sef I no get some for my body. So I make my mind sey I no go go town, I just go dey house den watch TV, I no get DSTV or any satellite TV, so I just watch wanna local networks ladat.

Afternoon tee around 3PM wey I make my mind sey I go go walk for the hood inside then see if I go get some babe chat. As I dey go wey I go comot for some fitter shop for my house ein back, I stand there small dey watch the fitters do demma magic on the cars for there. Chale but fitters bi azaa pass hw33333!!!!!!

I see some young fitter boys wey them dey claim big monies for there. Chale very young guys paa ooo… there norr I see sey some man bring ein car, then ebi some “ball joint” problem bi… them tell the man sey make he go then come take car in 30 minutes time. The man leff norr wey them go take some old car ein own come fix. The man come wey them tell am sey ebi 60gh, wey he pay. Chale one guy claim 60gh for working on a car for less than 20 minutes.

I start dey feel bad give myself… I go school for 4years, I get degree, I dey do national service, chale every morning I dey dress neat dey go job but I no dey get 10gh sef for working a whole month, cos the allawa no dey come.

There wey I see sey Chale school no be all I swear… if you get job wey ego give you money fast, chale make you no slack koraaa … Me I no know why I no go learn fitting job sef?

I envied the guy ein 60gh roff… like me I get that money, like I just go go sit for The Republic then drink some Terrible Mojito. I no get so I just go back home go continue my TV watching till I bed.

Chale i still dey wedge my allawa ooo…